Farahnaz Zahidi – My Bit for Change

Khadijah – The Beloved of The Prophet Muhammad (SAW)

He was young, handsome, of noble lineage and of impeccable character. He was known as “The Truthful” and “The Trustworthy”. Yes, he was born an orphan and his financial standing was not the best when Khadija (ra) met him. But he, nevertheless, was the best of the best. The epitome of the human race, when Khadija (ra) proposed to him, was a young 25, when she was 40 and widowed twice before, having borne children from both earlier marriages. He could have had any younger girl, any virgin who did not carry with her the baggage of widowhood and children. So why, then, did he accept her proposal?

Two reasons come to my humble mind.

Firstly, the “he” in question was Muhammad (pbuh), a young man but not just any man. Although he had not yet attained prophethood, he could look beneath the surface….the superficial. Khadija (RA) even on the apparent was a beautiful woman. “Ameerat-Quraish” or “Princess of Quraish” as she was called, she was rich, beautiful and had social standing. Yet, for Muhammad (pbuh), it would have to be more than riches and beauty that drew him towards the decision of accepting this proposal. Khadija had qualities that were unmatched, as time would prove; Maturity, wisdom, intelligence, loyalty, generosity and courage.

Secondly, this was the woman (like all of his other wives) who was chosen to be his wife by Allah in His infinite wisdom. She was the only wife who bore Muhammad’s (pbuh) children and had the longest singular companionship with him – a companionship of almost 25 years. She was to be the backbone of Islam, the foundation stone of Islam, the first ever Muslim who believed in Muhammad (pbuh) as Allah’s last and chosen Prophet. If it were not for her unflinching support for him and unequivocal faith in him, Muhammad (pbuh) would have still done what Allah destined for him to do, but without Khadija (ra) beside, it would have been a lonelier and even more tedious journey.

Whenever I read about Khadija (ra) I am amazed, always, by how much she loved and supported him.

She opened the doors to her home and heart to him. She shared her wealth with him. She took into her home his cousin, the young Ali (ra) And then there was Zaid ibn Harith (ra). And then, there were their own children – Qasim (who died young), Zainab (ra), Ruqayya (ra), Umm Kulthum (ra), Fatimah (ra) and Abdullah (who also died very young). And this blessed home’s doors were open to all – charity was a norm – an abundant norm. As a couple, they complemented each other so beautifully and thought so much in synch, that goodness was what their world was full of.

The years before and around prophethood of Muhammad (saw) would have been tough for her. Imagine how she felt when he disappeared into the cave of Hira and did not come home for days. Any wife in her position would cease to see the bigger picture and let the desire to own her man and his time take over. But Khadija (ra) knew her man. She allowed him the space he needed to grow inch by inch and day by day towards prophethood and her support remained unequivocal. There are reports that she would climb up to the cave of Hira and carry food and water for him. She was not exactly young at that time. But she did what it took to support him.

Perhaps the most well-known and yet never deplete of lessons and emotional impact is the incidence when the Muhammad (pbuh) returned after he received the first revelation from the cave of Hira, having witnessed the angel Gabriel (as); shivering, and scared. Realizing somewhat what a massive responsibility laid ahead of him, understanding that his life would change forever, fearing for his safety, and in those moments as he asked her to cover him with a blanket. It was Khadija (ra) by his side – to comfort and calm him down.

Her words at this moment have gone down in history. In Sahee Bukhari, is mentioned:

“Then he went to Khadija bint Khuwailid and said, “Cover me! Cover me!” They covered him till his fear was over and after that he told her everything that had happened and said, “I fear that something may happen to me.” Khadija replied, “Never! By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you. You keep good relations with your kith and kin, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guests generously and assist the deserving calamity-afflicted ones.”

She was the first to believe in his prophethood and therefore the first Muslim. Today, Muslims are a 2.1 billion strong, and growing. At that time, in those crucial moments that were to alter history, it was just her.

We all need that one person, at least, to believe in us implicitly, to know our mettle, to bring out the best in us and to be our fall-back. We need to know in moments of fear and insecurity and vulnerability that there is someone who will stand by us, no matter what. And the bigger and more important a human’s intended task or goal, the better will be the person Allah chooses to complement us, to facilitate an ultimate aim. For Prophet Muhammad (saw), Allah chose Khadija (ra).

It is then no small wonder that one day, Gabriel (as) came to the Prophet (saw) and said:

“O Allah’s Messenger! This is Khadijah, coming to you with a dish having meat soup (or some food or drink). When she reaches you, greet her on behalf of her Lord (Allah) and on my behalf, and give her the glad tidings of having a palace made of Qasab in Paradise, wherein there will be neither any noise nor any toil, (fatigue, trouble, etc.).” [Al-Bukhari]

Muhammad (pbuh) included her in the four foremost ladies of the universe: Khadija bint Khuwaylid (ra), Fatimah bint Muhammad (ra), Maryam bint Imran (the mother of the Prophet Isa) and ‘Asia bint Muzahim (the wife of the Pharaoh).

The richest woman in Makkah sacrificed all her wealth for the cause of Islam. The Princess of Quraish had to sustain the hardships of the 3 years of political and economic boycott, during which the Muslims had to stay in Shaib e Abi Talib, at times surviving by eating mere leaves! Yet, she did not complain or let go of her sabr.

It is no wonder, then, that Muhammad (pbuh) never really got over her death. He called the year of her death “the year of grief”. A Companion of the Prophet narrates that whenever any gift was brought to him he would immediately send it to some lady who had been a friend of Khadija (ra). Ayesha (ra), a favourite wife of Muhammad (saw) says that whenever a goat was slaughtered the Prophet (pbuh) would send some meat to Khadija’s (ra) friends; when she remarked about this on one occasion he told her that he had great regard for her friends, as she had a special place in his heart. Ayesha said she never experienced such a feeling of natural feminine jealousy for any other wife of the Prophet (saw) as she did for Khadija. She also narrates that whenever Muhammad (pbuh) spoke of her he would talk at great length and praise her qualities, and pray for her forgiveness.

Once the Blessed Messenger (pbuh) mentioned Khadīja (ra) before Ayesha (ra), the latter responded: “She was not but a such and such of an old lady, and Allah replaced her with a better one for you.” He replied:

“Indeed Allah did not grant me better than her; she accepted me when people rejected me, she believed in me when people doubted me, she shared her wealth with me when people deprived me, and Allah granted me children only through her.”

Ayesha (ra) says, after this incident, “I learnt to keep quiet, whenever Khadīja’s name was mentioned by Muhammad.” (Sahih Muslim)

Her place in his life can easily be understood by the fact that till she lived, the young Muhammad (pbuh), in the prime of his youth, did not marry any other woman.

She fulfilled all his needs and gave him the happy content married life that is required for anyone who wishes to achieve or do anything great in life. Khadija (ra), Mother of the believers, took care of the home front and gave Muhammad (pbuh) support in the worst of times, enabling him to do what he did. For her part, she understood and appreciated him and his responsibility. For his part, he cherished and appreciated who she was and what she meant to him. Together, they complemented each other, working hand in hand for a cause bigger than anything.

Such a companionship, then, is the material of the truest love story ever.

Independence Day – Why Must I Celebrate?

My home, my country is 66 years old today. Come August and we start gearing up to celebrate Pakistan’s birthday, if we can call it that. The emotional patriot that I am, the whole “green” thing works for me. It is my time to re-visit the qaumi taraanaas (patriotic songs) and hoist a flag on my roof and go all teary when I see Quaid e Azam on the TV screen. In August, basically, I am having a crash course in patriotism. Like a 2nd or 8th or 16th honeymoon of a couple who over the years have forgotten what they mean to each other. So they take a trip down memory lane and sit and watch their shaadi movie and leave the kids with the grandparents and take a trip together to rekindle what’s left.

In most cases, this stuff works. As in the case of me and Pakistan.

But one minor issue. Let’s go back to the weird example about the couple. So imagine this. They have a great “re-kindle the romance” tryst at a far-eastern island resort, have spent a week together, and love is in the air. But then reality sets in once they return. The honeymoon fever starts subsiding. They slide back into the old pattern. The wife nags, the husband is indifferent and insensitive. She’s obsessed with her clothes and her family, he is a workaholic who gives her no time. Honeymoon goes down the drain.

That might be, sadly, the problem with how we look at 14th August, or any ritual in any relationship for that matter, whether it is our relationship with a person, a country, an idea or even God. When we indulge into something without thinking and without reflection and introspection, all that remains is hollow and outward expressions of a love that is shallow.

In a love that is deeper and more real (and most of us claim to love Pakistan), we must give back in return. The truest relationships are those that stand the tests of time. Relationships in which you feel an urge to do for your beloved anything that makes him/her happy. What can I do that would make Pakistan happy, I wonder?

For sure, Pakistan LOOKS happy today. Celebration’s in the air. Fireworks marked the grand entry of the 66th birthday of my homeland at midnight. Everyone will be dressed in green (yes, me too, I confess!). Flags, songs, chants, slogans of hope, of better tomorrow.

So yeah, sure, Pakistan looks all happy. Just like that couple looks happy in the 2nd honeymoon pictuers they post on facebook. But are they, really? And is Pakistan happy? Really?

A REGISTERED 23% (almost) living below the poverty line, a dismal literacy rate, a non-existent state emphasis on health and education when compared to what we spend on defense, ethnic prejudice and violence, killing in the name of caste and creed, extremism, huge economic disparity, an increasing tendency of polarization in society; a society divided between liberal extremists and religious extremists, persecution of minorities; the list is endless. Poverty in the land of the pure forces people to commit suicide. Women are raped and silenced. Our government’s corruption has assumed legendary proportions. While minorities are persecuted, we, the Muslim majority (with all due respect) is essentially clueless about the true nature of Islam. We have not yet met Islam one on one, most of us. A reflection of us not knowing Islam is evident in tiny things like breaking the traffic signal and littering and losing tempers in Ramadan and also in bigger things like killing our fellow Muslims and Pakistanis.

In a nutshell, Pakistan is not happy, really.

Like a cynical but forthright friend’s tweet said, “I am not a proud Pakistani. With this mess I can’t be. Seriously. But I promise to work towards it.”

Yet, I still DO celebrate the 14th of August. Not just because I am an emotionally labile person who reaches out for her tissue to wipe tears when she hears “Khayal Rakhna” by Alamgir and the Benjamin Sisters. Not just because I am in the 14tn August honeymoon zone. No. I have given it careful thought.

And the reason lies in the last part of my friend’s tweet:”….I promise to work towards it”.

With all the mess that it is in, when I look at that white-haired old man called Dr Adeeb Rizvi serving at SIUT, and I see people believing in him, I know there is something worth celebrating. When I look at the work Imran Khan has done at Shaukat Khanum and the work Edhi has done, I know there is hope. And not just the very known heroes. At grass root level, I meet a woman in Heera Mandi Lahore, running a school for literacy of her children. In the dangerous Lyari, a man is teaching children peace-skills in his school. My nephew is working with his group of friends as a small initiative to spread literacy among under-privileged children. At an even smaller level, my mother always would teach the children of domestic staff to read and write. She was a member of the National Women’s Guard in the years around independence, a fierce patriot, who still in spite of her dementia sings patriotic songs and tells stories of how she saw Quaid e Azam. History repeats itself when my daughter teaches an underprivileged child in her summer holidays. I land at Jinnah International and with all the negatives, the positive is that the chivalrous men of my nation will still help me with my luggage, and the poor fruit vendor may give me an extra banana free of charge. We still cherish good values. We are a poor nation (not talking about the ruling elite right now!) but one of the most charitable nations in the world. We have been through hell and Pakistan is a dangerous country to live in, but we are resilient, and all this “mess” is bringing out the best in us in art, literature, and very importantly in humour – yes, Pakistanis know how to have a good laugh at themselves.

Deep down, somewhere, Pakistan is happy.

But the emotionally charged paragraph I have written above still does not fully justify why I celebrate 14th of August. For me, the reason is multifold. Patriotism, unless ill-founded and leading to anger and an “us versus them” psyche, can be and is a positive force if used correctly. It re-kindles the spirit of volunteerism, a sense of responsibility towards one’s country and one’s nation. If coupled with a bit of reflection and awareness, it can remind us of important lessons long-forgotten. A small example would be that if we take a careful look at the flag of Pakistan, the white reminds us of the presence of minorities as equal citizens of the state. Disrespecting or persecuting innocent minorities is tantamount to disrespecting the basic ideology on which this nation was formed. Celebrating this day, as my daughter has made me understand, is important to her generation who have sadly grown up in a time where most of what they hear about their country is negative, skeptic and disillusioned. The new generation must thrive on a sense of hope and a sense of pride.

So let’s give a careful thought today, each one of us, to what we are doing to make Pakistan happy. If we are positive contributors to the well-being of this nation, we have every right to celebrate the Independence Day, sing the national anthem and say Pakistan Zindabad.

🙂 If you’ll excuse me, I gotta go iron my green dress now.

Ali (RA) – My Eternal Hero

For me, he is the emblem of heroism, of wisdom, of passion, of love of Allah.

He accepted Islam as ten year old child, when very few were willing to risk their lives. He grew up, literally, in the house of Allah’s beloved (Salallaho Alaihi Wasalam -SAW). He resembled Rasool Ullah (SAW) in mannerism and action. On the night of the migration from Makkah, he slept in the bed of the Prophet (SAW) with the risk that the enemies may kill him in place of the Prophet (SAW).

Our beloved (SAW) trusted Ali (RA) with his treasure, his youngest daughter Fatima (RA). He was the Prophet’s (SAW) kin.

While Rasool Ullah (SAW) breathed his last on the chest of our mother Ayesha (RA), Ali (RA) was the one to bathe Rasool Ullah (SAW) after his death.

Ali was a lion in the battlefield and most humble in private life. In worship, such was he that he told people to pull out an arrow lodged in his body during salaat (namaz) because when in the presence of his Rabb in prayer, he focussed on nothing else.

Ali (RA) is my hero, forever.

They are all my heroes: Abu Bakr (RA) and Umar ibn Al-Khattab (RA) and Uthman bin ‘Affan (RA) and Ali (RA). Each a sparkling gem warding away darkness and showing rays of light. Each with their own beautiful unique personalities. Each chosen by God for special work. Each guiding us in their own way.

Yet, with the mention of Ali (RA) the heart softens with the realization of how beloved he was to the Prophet (SAW) of Allah. He is the father of Hasan (RA) and Hussain (RA), and the love of Fatima’s (RA) life.

These glimpses from ahadith and seerah remind me even more why Ali (RA) is who he is to me:

Abu Turaab

So many incidents are recorded about the beautiful way the Prophet (saw) used to solve disagreements between Ali and Fatima.

One such incident resulted in Ali getting the title Abu Turaab – “The man covered with dirt” – this title was one of the dearest to Ali. For once the Prophet went to visit his daughter Fatima & he did not find Ali home. He asked about him, so Fatima told her father that she had some argument with her husband so he left home angry in the afternoon without taking his usual nap. The Prophet told someone to go & look for Ali. He came back saying that he is in the mosque. The Prophet went to him to find him lying on the floor with his dress falling off his flank which was covered with dirt. The Prophet woke him up clearing the dirt off his body & addressing him with a smile: “Wake up you who is covered with dirt”.

The Prophet’s Kin

When the verse 3:61 was revealed to the Prophet (SAW): “Now that you know the facts, say to them ‘Come, let us summon our sons and your sons, our women and your women and ourselves and yourselves and pray Allah and beseech Him to accurse those who intentionally assert falsehood’ ; he summoned Ali, Fatima, Hassan and Hussain and said: “O God, & these are my kin”.

How can a believer not love Ali (RA)

Zirr reported: ‘Ali observed: By Him Who split up the seed and created something living, the Apostle (may peace and blessings be upon him) gave me a promise that ‘No one but a believer would love me, and none but a hypocrite would nurse grudge against me.’
Reference: Book 001, Number 0141: (Sahih Muslim)

The strength of Ali – in fighting the enemy and fighting anger

I love the incident where Ali (RA) was fighting with a man on a battlefield. Ali was about to thrust his sword into his heart when all of a sudden the he raised his head and spat at him. Ali immediately dropped his sword, took a deep breath, and walked away. This man was stunned. He ran after Ali and asked him why he was letting him go. “Because I’m very angry at you,” said Ali. “Then why don’t you kill me?” hel asked. “I don’t understand.”

Ali (RA) explained, “When you spat on my face, I got very angry. My ego was provoked, yearning for revenge. If I kill you now, I’ll be following my ego. And that would be a huge mistake.”

So Ali set the man free. The man was so touched that he became Ali’s friend and follower, and in time he converted to Islam of his own free will.

He whom Allah and His Messenger (SAW) love

Narrated Salama: ‘Ali happened to stay behind the Prophet (SAW) and (did not join him) during the battle of Khaibar for he was having eye trouble. Then he said, “How could I remain behind Allah’s Apostle?” So Ali set out following the Prophet . When it was the eve of the day in the morning of which Allah helped (the Muslims) to conquer it, Allah’s Apostle said,

“I will give the flag (to a man), or tomorrow a man whom Allah and His Apostle love will take the flag,” or said, “A man who loves Allah and His Apostle; and Allah will grant victory under his leadership.”

Suddenly came Ali whom we did not expect. The people said, “This is ‘Ali.” Allah’s Apostle gave him the flag and Allah granted victory under his leadership.’ Reference: Volume 5, Book 57, Number 52: (Sahih Bukhari)

He was to the Prophet (SAW) what Haroon (AS) was to Musa (AS)

Sa’d reported Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying to ‘Ali: Aren’t you satisfied with being unto me what Aaron was unto Moses?
Reference: Book 031, Number 5916: (Sahih Muslim)

For whosoever is Prophet (saw) Mawla, Ali is Mawla

Sayyidna Abu Sarihah (Radhi Allah) or Zayd ibn Arqam (Shu’bah is uncertain about it) said that Prophet (SAW) said: He for whom I am Mawla (friend, beloved, helper), Ali is Mawla
Reference: Sunan al Tirimdhi Hadith No. 3733 – Imam Abu Isa Tirimdhi (rah) said: This Hadith is “HASAN SAHIH”