love – My Bit for Change

Love Conquers The World

Love Conquers The World

(محبت فاتح عالم)

I thought of contemporary love as a feeling of deception that you have for somebody, enslaving you to inferior desires. It was not until I read عشق کے پانچ درجے¹ by Khurram Ali Shafique and discovered Iqbal through his Marghdeen². This change introduced me to that powerful love through which beloved says بتا تیری رضا کیا ہے (What is your wish?)³.

My original thought was a reflection of the society, a society having boys and girls eager to talk to each other, spending sleepless nights on phone and offering useless gossip about girls/boys in gatherings. It is an ignorant world view to which youth is forced to believe in; this world view of lust, promulgated by media. It is nothing but a means of profiteering from the masses.

Love is much more powerful than all this, it is that curiosity for an infant to take the first steps; it is in those sleepless nights of mother taking care of her child; it is in those scholars who persevere to preach goodness; it is in those martyrs who stand for their countrymen. It is this love in the universe that holds it all together.

Love is quite a real phenomenon. It exists physically. It is tangible and can be felt and sensed. It can be experienced and then held. It is supreme power of love is that constitutes ‘humanity’ today. It is the foundation of human existence: ‘He placed between you affection and mercy’⁴.

Iqbal wanted to revive this love, this ‘nigah-e-shoq’ to reach for the ultimate love for the Creator, The Sustainer. We often talk about wrath of Allah Almighty, obscuring His forgiveness, His love and mercy. This introduces to people a God-King who would punish them for wrong doings and reward them for obedience. However, the basic element in this is missing; love. Quran’s message is not the rulings of a King, but a code to search and see in Him the muse ‘So remember Me; I will remember you’.⁵

This conception is a shared reality with Christianity that ended in a complete denial of the basis of religion. Karen Armstrong writes:

“When I was about eight years old, I had to memorize this catechism answer to the question, ‘What is God?’: ‘God is the Supreme Spirit, Who alone exists of Himself and is infinite in all perfections.’ Not surprisingly, it meant little to me and I am bound to say that it still leaves me cold. It has always seemed a singularly arid, pompous and arrogant definition. Since writing this book, however, I have come to believe that it is also incorrect. . . . As I grew up, I realized that there was more to religion than fear.”⁶

Islam’s concept is based not on fear; rather it regards fearlessness as the supreme attribute of a Musalman. This love is what inspires freedom from all that restrains the true goodness in humanity. The greatest obstacle Iqbal say ‘that restrains man’s ethical progress is fear’.⁷

“. . . and no fear will there be concerning them, nor will they grieve.”⁸

Due to centuries of decline negativity has been embedded in the genes of Musalmans of today. We do not let any incident go without criticizing it, blaming someone or something, and a widely heard line would be:

“Everything happening is because of a third evil power”

It is a loveless life we are living. It was the primary objective of Iqbal to set mankind free of dogmatic following, to think freely and to reach out for goals far reaching the capability of humans fulfilling the prophecy of God:

کنتم خیرامت اخربت للناس تامرون بالمعروف و تنھون عن المنکر

“You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong.”¹³

Our society tends to seek reality in those ‘out of the box’ opinions and theories (end of times, illuminati, etc.). Instead of focusing on love for the society, and love for the Creator, our conversations are confined in brackets with a negative outside. Popular belief defines a society, popular actions defines their goal and it is these goals and beliefs in which Iqbal wanted to see growth of a collective ego. Pakistan was founded on the basis of this collective ego and it is still forming our society.

There is also an argument that suggests Iqbal ‘said’ many things but he didn’t materialize them in his own life or:

افکار تازہ سے جہان تازہ کی نمود نہی ہوئ

Iqbal became the President of Muslim League, Pakistan was his conception and it was his goal (that he envisioned through collective will). How can we point fingers on his actions when we are ourselves in deep pessimism? Iqbal believed in a melioristic attitude towards life. He believed man has an innate quality of expressing and developing. He saw in man the infinite possibilities to expand his consciousness and will, to completely change what they believe in, to pursue and dream new worlds, worlds that have new possibilities.

اس ذرہ کو رہتی ہے وسعت کی ہوس ہر دم

یہ ذرا نہی، شاید سمٹا ہوا صحرا ہے

This speck remains incessantly ambitious of expansion

Not a speck but perhaps the constricted wilderness he is

چاہے تو بدل ڈالے ہئیت چمنستاں کی

یہ ہستی دانا ہے، بینا ہے، توانا ہے

If he wills he can change the face of the garden

This entity wise, clear‐sighted and powerful is.⁹

Another argument that is widely spoken in our society when compelled to do something instead of criticizing, they would say:

آپ سہی کہتے ہیں، ہمارے ٹھیک ہونے سے کیا ہوتا ہے جب تک اوپر سے لوگ ٹھیک نہ ہوں، ہم کیا کریں؟

You are right but nothing would change unless the rulers change, what can we do?

This attitude aggravates the inactivity. It is that state which Iqbal said about Musalmans of that time:

“Truly economic dependence is the prolific mother of all the various forms of vice. Even the vices of the Indian Muhammadan indicate the weakness of life-force in him. Physically too he has undergone dreadful deterioration. If one sees the pale, faded faces of Muhammadan boys in schools and colleges, one will find the painful verification of my statement. Power, energy, force, strength, yes physical strength, is the law of life. A strong man may rob others when he has got nothing in his own pocket; but a feeble person, he must die the death of a mean thing in the world’s awful scene of continual warfare.”¹⁰

He points out the degraded state of Musalmans of that time as ‘a mean thing in the world’s awful scene’. Unfortunately we still have to conceive a powerful Musalman in our society whose character is the key to happiness of a freeman/freewoman. Freedom that allows the sterling character to grow in a person, making him fearless of everything that enslaves him. Instead of giving in to such notions we have to think hard what we can give to this society.

The character of a Musalman seems to be incomplete without this integration of love for Allah. And this love is not instinctive; rather, it is intellectual and conscious in nature, attained through knowledge of His existence. This knowledge must have unadulterated ‘nigah e shoq’ (Fervent Glance) in order to reach for the buried pearls deep down. If this ocean is murky with ‘complexes’ of any sort it would be difficult to witness the shimmering light of the reality of those pearls.

نگاہ شوق میسر نہیں اگرتجھ کو

تیرا وجود ہے قلب و نظر کی رسوائ

If fervent glance and vision keen You have not met or ever seen;

Your being is a source of shame on heart, and sight can bring a blame.¹¹

So, instead of rendering every activity of our society null by disclaiming its effectiveness, complete transformation of thinking is needed to be that Musalman. The natural melioristic attitude, however, can only be achieved if we unlearn what we have learned. It is one of those hardest things we are capable of doing. Let us revive this spirit to adopt a positive, collective goal, by treading the road of shared love for humanity.

ضمیر لالہ میں روشن چراغ آرزو کر دے

چمن کے ذرےذرے کو شہید جستجو کر دے

Make the lamp of desire bright in the heart of the tulip!

Make every particle of the garden a martyr to search!¹²

References:

1. http://panipatnow.com/archives/314

2. Marghdeen Learning Center (www.marghdeenlearningcenter.com)

3. Iqbal: Khirad Mandon Se Kya Poochun Ke Meri Ibtada Kya Hai, Baal-e-Jibril [Translation from: http://iqbalurdu.blogspot.com/2011/04/bal-e-jibril-053-kirad-mandon-se-kya.html]

4. Quran: 30:21^*

5. Quran: 2:152^*

6. Karen Armstrong: A history of God

7. Iqbal: Islam a moral and Political Ideal, 1909

8. Quran: 2:62^*

9. Iqbal: Insan, Bang-e-Dra [Translation from http://iqbalurdu.blogspot.com/2011/04/bang-e-dra-113-insan.html)]

10. Iqbal: Islam a moral and Political Ideal, 1909

11. Iqbal: Nigah e Shouq, Zarb-e-Kalim. [Translation from http://iqbalurdu.blogspot.com/2011/04/zarb-e-kaleem-119-nigah-e-shauq.html]

12. Iqbal: Tulu-e-Islam, Bang-e-Dra [Translation from: http://iqbalurdu.blogspot.com/2011/04/bang-e-dra-163-tulu-e-islam.html]

13. Quran: 3:110^*

^*The translations are taken from www.quran.com of Sahih International.

Love in The Time of Narcissism

Arguably, love is the highest sentiment the human spirit is capable of. In essence, it is selfless, generous, liberating, sublime. It purges one of all that holds one down to the mundane and earthy. Kahlil Gibran famously writes:

“Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.”

The contemporary world is characterized by the ascendancy of materialism that has banished the spiritual and hence objectified, commercialized and marketized some of the most sublime values. The sacred sentiment of love has not been spared from being grotesquely tainted by it- so that we have it ‘expressed’ in expensive, stark-red balloons, roses, chocolates on sale all over shops in Pakistan. The local florist explained to an appalled me that the reason why the flowers were so shockingly costly was on account of something called ‘Vanteen Day.’

The hyped up, almost frenzied festivities on Valentine’s Day depict this cult of hedonistic Narcissism that has gripped us in its monstrous clutches. This makes our deepest and most sacred, private sentiment be expressed with a loud, bawdy exhibitionism that denigrates its sublimity and reduces it to a hollow shell painted in gaudy hues. This overzealous celebration of carnal passion symbolizes the perversion of the sacred that is an inevitable result of materialism.

We are taught to express and exhibit passion to satiate our own selfish lusts- spend enough to ‘prove’ our love, fall in love with ‘love’ romanticized by the popular media; to breathlessly pursue romantic love, chase it, possess it, flaunt it and gloat over it lecherously.
In a recent video released by a Pakistani band known for its mock-satiric music, the chorus goes, ‘Sub Paisey ki game hai’ (It is all a game of money). The circus on Valentine’s Day is driven by imperatives of the capitalistic marketplace ordering us to ‘shop till you drop’ to ‘prove’ you love ‘enough.’ This ‘commodification’ of love exploits a basic human emotion in order to make big business. In the process, love is reduced to chocolate bars, rosebuds, balloons- or diamond rings and designer dresses- according to income bracket, social class and of course, taste.

In a class discussion when I mentioned to my students how Valentines Day goes against the spirit and ethos of Islam, a student candidly retorted, ‘But it does not harm anyone’. Certainly it does not, at a fleeting look. However, deep within, when we partake of it, we concede that love is a ‘thing’ to be flaunted and bought with money, not made out of real, lived experience of sharing, giving, forbearing, forgiving, growing, treading life’s jagged paths together with a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on. We negate the fact that love is made and found and relished everyday through little things you cannot buy with money; garnered painstakingly through smiles and tears and wounds and fears. In the process of celebrating this ‘harmless’ festivity, we actually condone the cruel, horrible things that go on outside the gates of girls’ colleges in the city, and inside young lonely hearts. I remember how in my college days girls used to talk of the surprise gifts from ‘secret’ or ‘known’ admirers and the less ‘fortunate’ ones shrank into themselves with shame and a haunting sense of loneliness and inferiority- often in physical terms. I found it heinous. The balloons and red-shirted urchins rampaging the streets and marketplaces tell me it is far worse for young people today.

Mark Vernon writes in his remarkable article, ‘Is Romantic Love a Bad Thing?’:

“I suspect that the desire for a peak experience of love has eclipsed the fact that love is primarily about others. The romantic myth would have us fall in love with love, paradoxically not with another. This twisted love whispers that it does not much matter who you fall for, only that you fall in love.

There is a spiritual dimension to this romantic addiction too. The philosopher Simon May has proposed that while many have given up on God in the West, we still long for the unconditional love that God used to offer.

But godless, we seek instead unconditional love from our fellow humans. We make them gods, and of course they fail us. And then love turns to hate. It’s a desire that, because of the excess, destroys love.”

“Ibrahim A.S- seeking spiritual fulfilment and coming to rest in the embrace of the Divine- had declared, “I love not that which fades away.” (The Noble Quran).

Selfless love that heals and gives and forgives arises out of this complete self-surrender encountering and recognizing the Perfect, Absolute Truth. This is why the festivals of Islam include compulsory charity and sharing of joy with the less privileged.

Modesty, said the Prophet (PBUH) is the distinguishing trait of Islam. Modesty implies revulsion towards exhibitionism and obscenity; it implies protection of the private, it implies dignity, humility, quietude, sincerity, purity. It is the crowning glory of a believer. The uproarious celebration of Valentine’s Day betrays the essence of modesty. It is a mindless aping of a culture entrenched in the Overblown but Minimal Self.

EPILOGUE:
The age demanded an image
Of its accelerated grimace,
Something for the modern stage,
The “age demanded” chiefly a mould in plaster,
Made with no loss of time,
‘All things are a flowing’,
Sage Heracleitus says;
But a tawdry cheapness
Shall outlast our days.
Decreed in the market place.
(Ezra Pound: Hugh Selwyn Mauberley)

The Moral Demise

Daughter killed her father …..

Shocked when I heard the news that a teenage girl killed her father; reason, he was stopping her from having an illegitimate affair. It was a breaking news on electronic media and reported widely, shocking for the entire country that how she confessed her crime and was actually not feeling any guilt about it.

One thought that continuously struck my mind was what made a daughter so angry that she went to the extent of shooting her father. What was the real cause? Was her ‘teenage love’ for a boy so strong that she didn’t care about her blood relations? Perhaps she was thinking that something magical would happen as often witnessed in famous Indian movies and she would succeed in getting rid of all obstacles that hindered her path & she & her lover would live happily ever after.

Similarly, a shocking news came about an elite school managing a debate on gay rights in Islamabad and I was thinking that where are we heading towards? Do these elite schools give a damn about religious and ethical values or they just believe in blindly following the ultra-liberal ideologies. They are having fun with fundamental religious and ethical values while we are sitting as mere spectators.

Few years ago, during my college days, once a friend was sitting on the stairs, deep in thought. I asked what happened and he said, ‘ Looking at the current trends, I am thinking that If after 20 years my daughter is having an affair, how will I stop her’. It sent shockwaves down my spine at that time, but now we are seeing things actually we never thought about. Lifestyle has entirely changed in our country in past ten years. Just look at the language of our kids these days and it will shock you.

Lets play the blame game. Lets blame media for polluting the mind of the girl who killed her father. Lets blame our educational system for these shallow moral values. Lets blame parents for not teaching the kids properly. Lets blame society for promoting unethical values. Lets blame the government … Lets simply blame!!

This blame game won’t result in anything positive. We certainly need to identify the ‘root-cause’ of the problem and take corrective measures. In my opinion, the root cause is that we have not defined our own role models. We need to define the real role models. And for that purpose, we need to put a lot of question marks on our real ideology. Who are our heroes? Who are we aspiring to become?

Kids idealize the heroes, and whoever heroes they think, they would try to follow them. We need our own real life heroes. Or should I say, we need to project our own real life heroes, because we already have them, but our kids don’t know as many of us have also forgotten. Is our hero Hazrat Khalid Bin Walid, Hazrat Mus’ab Bin Umair or any Bollywood/Hollywood hero. Everyone in Pakistan would certainly respond that Companions of Prophet (SAWW) are our heroes. But then how much we and our kids know about them. How much do we talk about them. How much do we try to follow them?

Our problem is much deeper. We live in a hypocritical society. We have double or triple standards in everything. We have different standards for ourselves and our future generation. We have confused concepts of right and wrong. We want our kids to be modest, polite, religious, and yet they should be westernized, liberal, and exclusively English-speaking. We are exactly as Ghalib said

رند کے رند رھے ، ھاتھ سے جنت نہ گئ

To sum it up in a sentence, we are confused on our ideology of ‘successes’. We need to define what does success means for us. Is having a successful love affair a success? In movies it might be true, but in real life what is the end result. A girl killed her father to succeed in her love affair. Did she get what she wanted? Can she be called successful?

Let’s turn to Quran to get the meaning of success and Quran says

And whoever is removed away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise, he indeed is successful. (Ch 2 :v 185)

Unless we redefine the success in our minds and reteach our kids the problems will only increase. Bollywood style affairs would be more important in the lives of our teenagers and issues like LGBT will be talk of the town in ultramodern Pakistan with no values to uphold and be proud of.

The Album of Life

There was once a world without you. Someone was celebrating your expected and awaited arrival and someone bore hardships and pains to bring you into this world. With the first click you land into this place which is a beautiful masterpiece of the creator. You are an adorable baby, a joy to your parents who bear those sleepless nights and support your helplessness with unconditional smiles on their faces. Just with a few more flicks, you are a daring toddler of your proud parents who cherish the first steps of your independence and confident walk. Your mind tells you that you can do it but your body disagrees. This still developing co-ordination between your brain and body makes you stumble. But there is always a pair of gentle hands to pick you and tell you, ‘You can do it’. Those hands and reassuring hugs make you fearless and failures do not scare you. Falls and bumps don’t stop you from experimenting new challenges.

You talk silly and they kiss you. You do not make sense and they hug you. You trip and they lift you high. You scribble lines and they appreciate you with raised eyebrows and dropped jaws. You do most silly things to catch their attention and make your presence felt. You go cross if ignored and they try to please you with hugs and kisses, hide and seek, ‘horse-rides’ on their backs etc. You can’t share them with any other child as you are too possessive about them.

With a few more flicks you are a confident school going child. Exams are the most difficult days in one’s life, you think. But, they support you and celebrate when you get down the stage after a performance or winning a race. Their world revolves round you. Their sleeps, social life, work and holidays; you are one factor that affects all of these.

Life is changing for you. You feel you are big and smart enough to know everything; a teenager filled with energy. Something in you tells you that you can conquer the world. Your ideals begin to change. ‘No’ is the word you don’t like to listen but would use often. You see colours in your life and with a few more flicks you have another beautiful person to fit in frame with you and soon the cycle repeats. You have a little one of your own and you are overjoyed with this little cry and chuckle in the house.

This album of life is strange; an overlapping connected series of circles where we all are in different stages of the track.

The lovely hands which cuddled you are now wrinkly and those bright faces are now sagging. The legs, which ran with you on the shoulders, are now weak. They trip and topple. Despite their physical weakness, their support makes your life and career successful. They are entering into the last phase of their lives. They have started talking silly. They sometimes make no sense at all. Laugh, cry or shout for no logical reason. Sometimes their ‘childish’ and attention seeking behaviour disturbs you. They need someone to talk to, sit with them and hold their disjointed wrinkly hands without even asking for a word, or sometimes just a word of love and a gentle smile exactly like you did when were young and silly but adorable to them, remember?

‘And whomsoever We bring to an old age, We reverse him in creation (making him go back to weakness after strength); so do they not understand?’ [Al-Qur’an 36:68]

Life goes on and a day comes when they reach their finish line in the circular track of life. (The circle doesn’t stop for anyone). The beautiful hands, the shady trees under which you felt safe, the warm hugs that gave you confidence are no more.

If you had any sleepless nights because of them, and you got a chance to feed and clean them like they did when you were young, consider yourself as an extremely lucky person, although no one can return the debts of parents’ love and hardship; not even a single scream of the mother when she cried and tried to bring you to this world and smiled immediately after you came in her arms.

Another flick! You’re a weak elderly with your children running for a ‘successful’ life and you are sitting in an armchair, reading newspaper with those glasses on and a walking stick by your side. Your mind is still young and keeps reminding you the highly energetic life you spent which involved struggle, joy, grief, and celebration, disappointment and hopes. But your body doesn’t agree. You know everything that the world holds, with people around you who think you know nothing, but they don’t realise they are just a few steps behind in the big circle of life.

The circle of life never stops. We don’t have a special eye to look at the future but our parents are a mirror of where life could take us. Our boasting energetic bodies and minds do not allow us to see that we’ll be in exactly the same state of feebleness, frailty and dependence if we live up to that age. Life is too fast and unpredictable and we are all running after ‘God-Knows-What’ with too little time to love each other. It’s the love and the loved ones who make life worth living. Let’s give our parents their rights, our love and respect. We can try to return at least 1% of what they’ve given us; sit with them, listen to them, obey them in Allah’s limits, smile at them, hug them often and feel the contentment and blessings of Allah that come our way. If we have this treasure and guaranteed entry to paradise and God’s pleasure, we shouldn’t waste our chance.

‘And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.” (Al- Qur’an 17:22-24)